Intro to History of Addiction
by nightwriter11
Summary: There's a new student at Greendale, someone from Annie's past who she is not too excited to see.
1. Chapter 1

Intro to History of Addiction

Chapter One

The Greendale Seven, known for their campus shenanigans to all other students as well as their hogging of the schools best study room, met for their usual 4 PM study session on a Tuesday afternoon. They all took their usual seats in the blue walled and carpeted room, most of them always trying to forget the fact that two of their members, former anarchist Britta Perry and disgraced lawyer Jeffery Winger, had once had sex on the table. But of course once they reminded themselves not to think about it that image was all they saw. Luckily it always passed quickly between arising arguments between two or more members. The usual arguing parties were the aforementioned on again off again paramours; house wife/owner of Shirley's Sandwiches, Shirley Bennett and Hawthorne Wipes CEO Piece Hawthorne; or there was a three way argument between roommates Troy "Buttsoup" Barnes, Annie Edison (aka Annie Adderall) and the adorable but strange Abed ("The Arab" ("is that offensive?" –Pierce Hawthorn)) Nadir. But today before some kind of argument could arise on any given subject there was something they group had never heard at their study room door—a knock.

Usually the Dean entered with his usual "Dean-Dong" or some other atrocious pun while wearing a ridiculous transgender outfit. But the knock suggested a stranger, a fact that relieved but also disturbed Jeff. Yes, it wasn't the dean coming in to feel up his pecs again, which hey could you blame him? he always thought. But it was someone barging in on their territory and their precious study session. Having an unwanted guests cut out their usual 15 minutes of study time after 45 minutes of arguing.

"Knock knock." A young man said peeking into the room.

"Who's there?" Troy asked enthusiastically.

The man came into view and everyone stared, each member of the Greendale Seven noticing a particular trait about him.

Jeff noticed his hair first; thick, wavy and so dark brown it was almost black with a few glimmers of sandy brown from the suns natural rays not from a bottle. He also noticed that his stubbly beard actually connected at the corners of his mouth forming a goatee.

Britta noticed his jacket; black, military style with two round buttons over the left breast pocket. One had the words "Read Banned Books" and the other had a cartoon picture of a beet with eyes, legs, arms, and a pair of headphones on with the words "Beet got beat" across the top.

Abed saw the Andy Warhol inspired design of his shirt with four Technicolor pictures of William Shakespeare, as well as the Inspector Space Time buttons on his messenger bag.

Troy just noticed that there was someone was standing in the doorway.

Pierce noticed that he was white.

Shirley noticed his skinny jeans praying to the Lord that they weren't so tight this cute boy couldn't have children after wearing them.

And finally, Annie noticed his eyes. Round and soft which fit perfectly on his face, they weren't too close or too far apart, the Goldilocks of eye positioning. And their color, she thought, My God that color. Bright, sharp, deep, and blue, they pierced through your own eyes into your soul. They were the kind of eyes that you could stare into infinitely, that made you feel safe but at the same time made you yearn for danger and adventure. Her heart starting beating faster when she saw those blue eyes as old feelings she thought she reconciled with rushed back.

"Hey Annie." he said.

"'Hey Annie,' who?" Troy asked from across the table.

"Troy," Britta whispered, "He's not telling a knock-knock joke!"

The study group shifted their attention from the young man in the doorway to Annie whose face had flushed and her eyes glassed over with tears brimming. She clenched his fists feeling her nails dig into her skin and bit her lip to stop it from quivering. While she looked like she was about to explode, he remained calm, staring at her with nothing but a look of undying affection in his eyes and a small smile.

No one spoke. The entire group looked at Annie. Annie looked at the visitor in the study room and he looked back at her, pleading with his eyes for her to say something. Finally she got up and slowly walked over to him never breaking eye contact. His smile grew bigger as she stood right in front of him but before he could say anything else her palm made contact with his cheek, sending him reeling backwards as a collective gasp from the six people sitting in the room emerged.

"Oh snap!" a voice said from the other room entrance. Everyone turned to see former Spanish professor and current music major Ben Chang standing in the doorway.

"Chang get the hell out of here!" Annie shouted striking fear into everyone in the room. They had seen competitive Annie; they had seen sad Annie, desperate Annie, happy Annie, basically every emotionally ranged Annie except for this one. This was different. This was scary. It was like she was bursting at the seams with anger, rage, hatred, heartbrokenness, love, and longing, and even she didn't know which one was overpowering. They were all forcing on her equally causing the red face, the tears, the shouting, and the slapping. Everyone sank in their seats and shut up.

The young man, who was probably three or four years older than Annie and only an inch or two taller than her, tried to speak again but was cut off when she landed another slap on his face.

"Ow!" he cried out holding his burning red cheek. "Same. Exact. Spot!"

"Five years!" she yelled. "Five years since I've seen you and you think you can just waltz in here and say 'Hey'?!"

"I think I said 'Hey Annie,'" he smirked before ducking and taking a small step back when Annie raised her hand. "Please don't hit me again!"

"I can't believe you." She said lowering her voice, the tears that were once just surfacing now streaming down her hot face.

"I know, I know," he said dropping the smile and looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm a jackass. And I deserved those two slaps. But Annie, please, just listen to me-"

"Why should I?" she crossed her arms. "You betrayed me and most importantly you _left_ me. So why should I listen to anything you have to say?"

His face was bright red and the study group could only imagine how bad it stung. Abed would say later on of Annie "To quote Shakespeare; 'Though she be but little, she is fierce.'" Jeff could vouch for that after Annie broke his nose one year.

"Because," he said. "I'm sticking around."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a student here now. I did it Sprinkles."

"Don't call me that." she clenched her jaw.

"I'm sorry, I can't keep quiet anymore." Pierce said. "Sprinkles? Do we have donuts or something?"

"No, sorry." The man said before taking a step forward. "Let me introduce myself; I'm Jameson. Or Jamie for short."

"Is that Jameson whisky, Jameson?" Pierced asked.

Jamie paused for a moment not knowing if he was serious or not and finally answered. "Uh, no."

"And how do you know Annie?" Jeff asked.

"None of your business." She said grabbing Jamie's arm forcefully. "Hallway. _Now_."

As Annie and Jamie left the room the six remaining group members simply sat in their chairs in disbelief still trying to process what had just happened.

"Who the hell was that guy?" Britta asked breaking the silence. "I mean, obviously someone from Annie's past, duh doy! But who exactly?"

"Troy did he go to school with you?" Jeff asked.

"No I don't think so. Then again I didn't know Annie went to my school. I mean they could have hung out and I just never noticed them, and then he suddenly got hot like she did after graduation—"everyone stared at him. "What, you can't deny he's a good looking dude."

They remained quiet before all agreeing. Even Jeff did, reluctantly.

"Look the point is," Britta, surprisingly being the coherent voice of reason, said, "He did something that really hurt her, and we have to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Agreed." Jeff nodded.

"I say we lock him in that crappy study room we found and—"

"Nope!" Jeff cut her off. "We're not locking anyone in any place. And while I agree we should protect her she is an adult and I'm sure she can handle this."

Shirley shook her head. "Nuh uh. Annie is a woman scorn, that boy better watch out before he wakes up with his precious vinyl record collection smashed all around his bed and his authentic Cosby sweater ripped to shreds."

For what seemed like the 100th time in the last 15 minutes everyone was silent.

"This has been a weird day." Jeff said. "Why don't we all just go home and talk about this tomorrow."

Everyone agreed and stood up right as Annie and Jamie burst back in the door causing everyone to slam back down in their seats. .

"I'm not going to leave you alone before you talk to me."

"Forget it Jamie, I'm not talking to you."

"Please. I know what I did was horrible and I know I was a bad person before I met you. But after that day I knew that I didn't want to be that guy anymore."

"Well guess what? You're still that guy. You were that guy five years ago and I'm willing to bet that you're the same guy now. You haven't changed—"

"Yes I have."

"I don't care then!" she said throwing her hands in the air. "Now please leave."

"Annie—"

"Leave."

He paused and finally hung his head in defeat. "Okay."

Annie took a moment to steady her breathing and wipe her eyes before opening her text book. "Now where were we?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Two weeks had gone by since Jamie knocked on the door of the Greendale Sevens study room causing a huge disruption as they attempted to study for their first exam. Since then the warm September air had begun to cool into October as the leaves changed and the days grew shorter. Every day as they exited their study room they saw Jamie sitting outside the room scribbling in a notebook or reading a book. He'd wait until they all left and tried to talk to Annie who just walked right past him. Her friends hadn't pressed her for any more information and she hadn't offered any about how she knew Jamie or what he was doing at Greendale. The latter she herself had no idea. She didn't know what he was taking, where he was living, where or if he was working, nothing. And she wanted to keep it that way. If she went down that rabbit's hole again she'd lose herself and possibly get back in the situation that landed her in Jamie's life.

All seven of them sat in their study room once again meeting for their Tuesday study session. As he had for the past two weeks Jamie walked by the window a few minutes later and sat down facing the study room. He pulled out his notebook and began writing again. Everyone, even secretly Annie, wondered what he was writing about. Annie guessed it was something about her but she never would admit it to her study group. They wouldn't admit it to her but they also figured it had something to do with her. Everyone but Annie continued to gaze out the window at him as she focused on her text book. Finally when she noticed no one was studying she sighed and closed it, the sound catching their attention.

"We met in rehab." She said.

"We didn't ask." Jeff said.

"Well you were not asking very loudly." She looked out the window and saw Jamie still writing. "It was when I got addicted to Adderall, obviously, and he was trying to get over his addiction to prescription pain killers. He was in a car accident, that's how he got addicted. He had other problems, like me, that made it worse but…" she paused. "Anyway I got clean and became his sponsor because he was in worse shape than I was. I thought he was doing better then I found out he was using again."

"Then what?" Britta asked.

"I tried rehab again." A voice said. Everyone turned and saw Jamie standing in the doorway holding his notebook. "But I had a bunch of other issues prevent me from getting better. So I bailed."

"This is our private study session." Annie stood up and tried to close the door but Jamie stopped it with his foot.

"Sounded like you were telling them about me, not studying…uh what class do you guys have?"

"American Literature." Shirley said in her cheerful voice. "We're reading 'Howl'."

"Allen Ginsberg, nice."

"You understand it?" Jeff asked. "Because he's just talking about balls, and drugs, and sex."

"Yeah, this is one of my favorite poems."

"You know I once smoked a joint with Allen Ginsberg." Pierce said.

"You're kidding me!" Jamie said excitedly, walking past Annie into the room.

"Yes, he is." Jeff smirked. "Pierce stop pretending you know all these famous people and smoke pot or did coke or slept with them in an airplane bathroom."

"You think I'm lying?" he reached into his backpack and flung a folder across the table at Jeff and Jamie. "Read it and weep suckers."

Jeff opened the folder and found a photograph of Pierce and Allen Ginsberg, who was wearing a sandwich board with the words 'Pot is Fun' scrawled on it, circa 1960s.

"Kerouac was being a dick and wouldn't get in the picture with us." Pierce said crossing his arms. "'American Buddha' my ass."

"Hmm," Jeff said putting the photo back. "I stand corrected."

"Okay, enough with this trip down the pot hazy memory lane." Annie said. "Jamie you need to go."

"Are you sure? Because you wrote down that the 'best minds' of Ginsberg's generation were the authority figures over thrown by the writers and pot heads." He said pointing at her notebook. "He's clearly talking about the writers and pot heads and poets and painters, they're the best minds while the government and authority figures and just the overall human condition is the madness that destroys them. Being human destroys them."

Everyone remained silent disbelieving that someone was correcting Annie. But as they listened to Jamie's explanation they realized his interpretation made more sense than hers.

Jamie crossed his arms. "Next you're going to tell me that Holden Caulfield is really asking what will happen to the ducks in Central Park during the winter but nothing else."

Annie put her hands on her hips. "Of course not! An idiot could realize that."

"Wait," Troy said. "What's going to happen to the ducks in Central Park in the winter?"

"It doesn't matter; we're not reading _Catcher in the Rye_."

"Annie if something happens to those ducks—"

"There are no ducks! It's a work of fiction! Now Troy stop asking stupid questions, Pierce stop bragging about all the celebrities you've done drugs with, and Jamie _leave_!"

"I think he should stay." Everyone turned to Abed who had surprisingly kept quiet the past two weeks about the whole Jamie/Annie thing going on. Usually he would point out how this was like a lifetime movie or compare it somehow to media or TV shows, but he somehow managed to hold his tongue.

"Abed what did you say?" Annie asked.

"He seems to know a lot about this poem. Maybe he should help us understand it better."

Annie stared in disbelief. She didn't exactly expect Abed to understand her feelings towards Jamie or understand everything she went through once she revealed the whole story when she was ready, but she thought he had been getting better about reading social situations and knowing when she was upset. She guessed she was wrong.

"Uh, I don't know Abed. I should probably go—"

"No." Annie said looking at him. She wasn't going to make a scene and she didn't want to seem uptight. She wanted to be calm and cool, show that she was the bigger person. That's why she shocked everyone by staying; "Stay."

The tension hung in the air heavily as Jamie sat in the empty seat with Annie to his left and sharing the copy of "Howl" with Jeff on his right. He read the section of the poem they were assigned out loud with such enthusiasm and never messing up, never stumbling over the words, keeping everyone, even Annie's, attention.

As he read Annie was reminded to their days at rehab and him reading some of his favorite poems to her in his room, the door open so people could hear him as they passed by. It was the rehab centers policy; they had to keep their doors open when they had another person in the room. Neither of them minded it but then again that was back when they were still focused on themselves and getting better. It wasn't until later on that they would sneak around for some privacy. By then Annie had left, was applying to Greendale and trying to better her life. Jamie had been clean for about five months before he relapsed and went back in. She visited him a minimum of three times a week, which he understood and told her that a call once a week would be enough for him if she was too busy, but she always made time. But as much as Jamie tried to stay strong his fear was holding him back and one day he left the rehab center, he had checked himself in so he was allowed to leave, and disappeared. Annie spent months trying to find him but to no avail. The rehab people wouldn't tell her anything, his friends hadn't seen him since he checked himself in and his parents didn't even seem to care he was gone. He was twenty one so they no longer legally had to care for him and he said that they really hadn't for the past four years. Annie completely understood where he was coming from. She was cut off by her parents once she entered rehab and hadn't gotten assistance from them since. But somehow the pain of Jamie leaving her was worse than being cut off for trying to better herself by her parents. He believed in her, he wanted her to get better when they were in rehab together. Even though she was clean and living on her own, getting ready to go to school she still needed some encouragement so she wouldn't relapse in her attempt to be the best at everything. But he couldn't give that to her, which is what she had to remind herself as she listened to him read.

Surprisingly the group actually got some work done thanks to Jamie and everyone actually felt confident for their quiz and class discussion the next day. By the time everyone was getting ready to leave everyone, except Annie, had given Jamie their email or phone number and he agreed to proofread any papers if they needed help. Soon he and Annie were the only ones left in the study room.

"That was kind of like old times, huh?" he smiled slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, kind of."

"I've missed this, just hanging out, reading poetry."

Annie just put her backpack on and started walking towards the door.

"Annie, wait. Please."

She did which kind of surprised him.

"Can we get coffee tomorrow? Catch up? Let me explain things?"

She should have said no, it had taken five years to get where she was and yet she was still at a point where there was not a day that went by without her thinking about him. The pain had lessened and she didn't mind carrying it around with her anymore but spending time with him again would only open those wounds and rub salt into them. It was the last thing on Earth she wanted to do. She would rather fail all her classes than spend one more minute with him.

So then why did she say "Yes"?

I guess I'll find out, she thought as she watched Jamie get on his bike and pedal away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Annie sat across from Jamie at the local coffee shop stirring the drink he bought her, watching the cream swirl around the paper cup as he tapped the plastic cover of his drink trying to decide where to start. The rest of the shop was empty except for two people in the corner burying themselves in a newspaper they were looking at. The employees stood behind the counter either texting on their cellphones or talking quietly to one another, completely ignoring their few customers.

"I meant to call." He finally said softly, looking Annie straight in the face. "I must have picked up the phone hundreds of times."

She stopped stirring and wrapped her hands around her cup. "You meant to do a lot of things."

"I should have left you a note or something, I know that. But I was in a bad place Annie. I just needed to get the hell out of here. I couldn't stay here, get better here. Everything that caused my addiction wasn't going away. Do you know my dad still has my smashed up car in the garage? I kept telling him to get rid of it and he wouldn't because he'll 'fix it up'. He told me that seven years ago, right after my accident."

"Wait, so he just let it sit in the garage?"

"Yes. And he never fixed it. I went over there to let them know I was back in town, not like they cared or anything, and it was still sitting there. My tassel from my graduation cap was still hanging on the rearview mirror. I swear my leg just hurt looking at it." Without realizing it he placed his palm on his shin where the pins and metal rods were.

"Where did you go?" she asked after a moment.

"San Francisco. I moved in with a few people I met from an apartment posting, got two jobs."

"Doing what?"

"I worked at City Lights Books and was an usher at the theater. But I spent the rest of my time in my room, reading, writing, listening to music, playing music. Really anything I could do to keep my mind off of home. I wrote two books, never did anything with them, but I wrote them. I guess that counts for something and it kept me from taking any pills."

Annie took a sip of her coffee and tasted cinnamon. Five years and he still remembered. "If you were doing so well then why did you come back?"

He looked her in the eyes. "Because of you."

They heard a gasp and slight squeal from the two people in the corner who covered themselves with the newspaper to prevent Annie from seeing who it was. She turned back and saw Jamie still staring at her, his blue eyes soft and warm, comforting. She felt a chill run down her spine when he reached over and took her hand. They were soft, only one rough thin scab on his thumb from a paper cut ("The most debilitating and insulting injury for a writer and reader" he always said). Two weeks ago she would have pulled away the second he reached for her and probably would have slapped him again. But now she laced her fingers with his as the wave of memories came crashing over her, not of the last five years but of all the good memories of their time in rehab, which sounds strange but without Jamie there she wasn't sure if she would have been able to get clean and stay clean.

She remembered her first night at the rehabilitation center; she was terrified. She had not only lost her scholarship, her virginity, and a patch of skin on her face after running through a glass door screaming "Everybody's a robot!" but she was embarrassed by her behavior in front of others, disappointed in herself for not caring about her life enough to take control of it, and unbelievably sad and angry at the way her parents had treated her. After dinner that first night she sat in the recreation room where sweating junkies watched TV and smoked menthol cigarettes. She tried to ignore the crack and heroin addicts around her and found herself focusing on the young man, only three years older than her eighteen year old self, sitting in the corner with a book in his hands. He had dark circles under his eyes which were noticeable even under his reading glasses, and was wearing jeans and a black tee-shirt with light blue slippers instead of shoes. After a few minutes he noticed her staring at him and smiled which caused Annie to blush and hide her face. The next thing she knew he had walked over and sat on the couch cushion next to her.

"I haven't seen you around here. Did you just check in?" he asked keeping his reading spot by placing his index finger between the pages of the book.

"Yeah, I just checked myself in this morning."

"You checked yourself in? Good for you, it takes a lot of courage to do that. A lot of these people are here by court orders."

"What about you?"

"Same as you, I checked myself in." He held out his hand. "Jameson Cooper, OxyContin."

She took his hand and shook it. "Annie Edison, Adderall."

"Prescription junkie," he grinned. "Nice to have another one around here, but admission to the club is two Vicodin and a Percocet."

Annie couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Do you wanna take a walk?" he asked suddenly. "There's a group session about to be released and this room will be packed in a few minutes."

She nodded and followed him out into the hallway. They weren't allowed to go out into the facilities court yard since it was after seven (but he promised her a walk after lunch the next day) so they roamed the halls, at least the areas they were allowed to roam. Jamie showed her the nurses station, bathrooms, the rooms were group was held and where the one on one doctors had offices. He pointed out the one accurate clock in the building and the payphones, which she had already seen all of this on her tour with a nurse but was not told that the best times to call people were 7:30 AM, 1:15 PM, 4:40 PM and 10:00 PM. The halls were usually quiet which made the calls easier to hear.

"I probably won't be calling anyone." She said as they continued down the hall. "My parents don't really want anything to do with this process. My mom just wanted to sweep this all under the rug but I wanted help."

Jamie still had his place saved with his finger as he held his book behind his back. "I understand, my parents are kind of the same, which I think is kind of weird, don't you? I mean, most of these people they're forced here and if they're forced here by family they probably don't want to talk to them because they feel like they're trying to take away the one good thing in their life. Yet they're on the phone all the time—trust me you'll see. But us, we're trying to take care of ourselves but our family doesn't care." He shook his head. "It's unreal."

"Yeah." She said saddened by the reality of the situation.

They circled the halls again before Jamie asked "So what's your story?"

Annie shrugged. "I took Adderall to focus in school and—"

"No, no, no, no." he said stopping in his tracks. "Not the 'How'd you end up in rehab?' story, those always bum me out. I mean your likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, plans for when you get out of here. Fetishes. You know that kind of stuff."

She laughed a little but crossed her arms and said; "That's kind of personal, I mean we just met."

"So? Think of this as like a first date." He smiled.

Five years later she still did. That night was her first step to recovery not just from substance abuse but from the emotional toll of building that wall she had put up around herself. She couldn't let anyone in because then they could beat her, but look where that got her; addicted to pills, disowned, and in rehab. She still found it difficult to break out of her comfort zone even after all this time, but with Jamie it came easy. He understood what she was going through with the pills and with family like no one else could.

That's what worried her. They were good together, she couldn't deny that, and now that they both had gotten their lives together maybe they actually stood a chance. But that nagging voice in her head kept reminding her about what happened. How much he had hurt her and how he waited five years to finally apologize for everything. Part of her wanted to move past all that but it seemed like every time she tried that voice grew louder.

To Annie it seemed like all she had done the past two weeks was cry. She felt the tears coming again and let go of Jamie's hand before standing up. "I can't." She whispered.

"Annie," he said standing up. "Wait."

"Please," she said holding her hand up. "Don't."

"What do you need?" he asked. "What do you want me to do?"

"I just need some time, okay?"

"Okay, I'll be here. I promise, for real this time."

Jeff and Britta peaked over the newspaper they were sharing as cover in the coffee shop once Annie walked out the door. They saw Jamie's shoulders hunch as he watched her walk to her car from the window, he ran his hands though his hair before covering his face and exhaling sharply. They heard a buzzing sound and Jamie pulled out his phone and answered it.

"Hey," he paused. "Sure, I could use a drink actually. I haven't had the best day. Where?...L Street? Oh, you mean The Red Door! Seven o'clock? Sure, yeah, I'll see you there."

He downed the rest of his coffee before zipping up his coat and heading out into the cool fall air. His bike was parked right outside and after unchaining it they saw him bike away.

"Why the hell did you squeal?" Jeff asked putting the paper down. "You almost gave away our position."

"I'm sorry," Britta said, "but that was so sweet. I usually don't care about all that mushy, feelings crap but he obviously cares about her."

"Yeah, I know." he admitted. His relationship with Annie had been complicated over the years but he felt like that they were better as friends. He was vain, narcissistic, lazy, scheming, while she was determined, hardworking, caring. They were the typical opposites attract, the will they or won't they? Yes they attracted one another but he was beginning to think that they couldn't last. They were too different and neither was willing to change or adapt. He would always remain protective of her but if she found someone who made her happy he wasn't going to jeopardize it.

"What should we do?" he asked.

"I'll go talk to Annie and why don't you go to the Red Door and talk to Jamie."

"About what?"

"Just get to know him. I mean, if we want to protect Annie we need to know what we're protecting her from."

"Fine. But take Shirley with you to Annie's."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to Britta it. L Street isn't exactly close to her place so I can't run to the rescue."

"Okay number one, I can handle it but I'll take Shirley just because I don't want to hear some sassy comment from her later on."

"What's number two?"

"It's The Red Door."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Jeff entered L Street, not The Red Door no matter how much Britta fights me on it, he thought walking inside the dimly lit bar. He had spent many a night in here especially during the weeks after he was disbarred. He didn't make very good friends with the bar tended but they got along; he let Jeff try to find the bottom of the glass every night and always made sure he got home safely usually by taking the keys to his Lexus and putting Jeff in a cab he'd come back the next day and pick up his keys which were always there waiting for him. This night was a typical Wednesday night; it wasn't crowded but there were a few college aged girls who had nothing better to do on a school night and were currently being chatted up by a guy wearing a jacket with a mechanic garage logo on it. Jeff scanned the room and saw Jamie sitting at the bar, a glass in front of him, scribbling in a reporter notebook furiously. His hair was disheveled from running his hands through it and gripping it in frustration.

Jeff sat on the barstool next to him and ordered his usual Macallan neat.

"Oh," Jamie said looking up. "Hey Jeff."

"Oh hi!" Jeff said overly enthusiastically. He cleared his throat and played it cool. "How's it going?"

"Could be better." He said taking a sip of his drink. "I was expecting a night out with a buddy I haven't seen in a while and he's over there hitting on those girls."

"We'll it's never nice to drink alone." Jeff said downing the rest of his drink and got the attention of bartender. "Another Macallan neat and," he motioned to Jamie's empty glass.

"Jack and Coke." He said putting his pen down. "Thanks."

Jeff simply nodded before taking a sip of his scotch. "Wait, should you be drinking?"

"I'm fine, believe me. Drinking I can handle in moderation, just the pills I had trouble with." He chuckled. "That Oxy's a bitch."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Yeah, it's not something I'd recommend finding out on your own."

"So Annie said you were in a car accident? What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"Uh, no, no it's fine. It was right after I graduated high school, I was heading home from a party late at night when a drunk driver t-boned me at a four way stop. It really messed up my leg; two metal roads and a bunch of pins, and _a lot_ of pain." He swirled his drink. "Like I heard Annie tell you guys, that's how I got hooked on the drugs."

"We didn't, uh, we weren't trying—"

"Hey, hey it's alright. It's the truth. It's just everything that happened afterwards…" Jamie paused and downed his drink in one gulp. "It took me three years to finally check in to rehab. Up until then I didn't really care about anything else but then there was one night that finally gave me the push I needed."

"What happened?"

The bartender set down another Jack and Coke in front of Jamie. "I saw someone OD. I called an ambulance, hid the rest of my pills in the guy's jacket and took off for the nearest rehab center because I knew that if I kept it up that would be me. " He took a drink and swirled the glass watching the ice float around. "Like I said, I was a bad person before I met Annie. I stole pills, stole money for pills; I'd hide them in people's lawn gnomes or hub caps when I was paranoid. I figured they were a better hiding place than in my possession."

"Well you were right. I defended a few guys busted for possession when I was a lawyer and they usually got thrown in jail."

Jamie shook his head. "I don't understand that, I was sick I needed help and I was always in fear that if I was caught I'd be punished. Why do people do that? I mean look at Annie, she's turned her life around, she's going to school, she has a job, and most importantly she's clean all because she got help."

"It's a screwed up system." Jeff shrugged finishing his scotch. "What can I say?

He looked over and saw Jamie write something in his notebook, as if he had just been struck with the greatest idea ever heard.

"What are you writing?"

"Oh," he looked up. "It's just this, uh, novel I've been working on. It's kind of based on my life; addiction, rehab, all that stuff."

Jeff sensed he was holding back. "Anything else?"

"Well…I guess it's kind of about me and Annie."

"Uh huh," Jeff said sneakily taking his phone out and texting Britta.

While Jamie and Jeff were sitting at the bar Britta and Shirley sat in Annie's apartment where she was sitting on the couch, her legs curled under her and holding a pillow against her chest in a vice grip. Troy and Abed were out at the comic book store searing for the new Inspector Space Time trinket or comic which gave the three of them the chance for some girl talk which Annie was in need of even if she didn't realize it. It even surprised her that Britta and Shirley were the perfect people to talk to, mainly because they balanced each other out. Shirley was the great listener and emotionally comforting while Britta listened but tended to give advice on how to say "screw it!" which Annie admitted was helpful at times. But tonight she just wanted to be alone. Jamie had dropped a bombshell on her today and she needed time to think about it and wasn't in the mood of sharing the details of their relationship with anyone.

"So…." Britta said twisting the ring on her fingers. "How's Jamie?"

Annie just stared at her with a look that said 'Are you serious?'

"Sorry, I'm not very good at this."

"No, it's alright. I figured that's why you two came over."

"I'd come over more often if you two would invite me to hang out with you two. But I guess you think I'm too mature to be friends with you two." Shirley said in her happy-threatening voice.

"Shirley," Britta said. "Not now. We're trying to help Annie."

"I know, but I don't understand why she'd run to you first with her relationship problems what with your past relationships with that small nippled hippie, tall Kyle, the war criminal, Jeff—."

"Guys!" Annie said putting up her hands before a fight broke out. "I think it's sweet that you two came over to make sure I'm alright, but I kind of want to be alone."

"Annie, we know that you've been through a lot and we want to be there for you." Britta said, being surprisingly comforting. "So come on, let us help you."

"She's right Annie; you shouldn't hold these things in."

They weren't going to let up, she knew that and she figured that there was a small amount of information she could divulge to them without getting too emotional or revealing too much.

"He helped me the first night of rehab. I was terrified." She finally said. "We spent every day together after that. I was…drowning and he was dry land. Which sounds weird, I know, he was an addict as well, but there was just something about him that was comforting."

Britta's phone vibrated and she glanced at it before putting it away. "Sorry. Continue."

"The other day when he read 'Howl' I was just transported back to our time together. We used to do that a lot, read poetry together. Whitman, Keats, Langston Hughes and E.E. Cummings. He had a suitcase just of books he brought with him. They were his anti-drug, he'd always say, and I guess they still are. He said in the last five years all he's been doing in his free time is reading and writing."

"Writing?" Britta asked thinking about her text from Jeff. "What does he write?"

"Anything; short stories, novels, poems. He wrote a few in rehab, they were good." She smiled. "I always felt special because I was the only one he would share anything with."

Annie continued to tell them a bit about their time in rehab and the months that followed, mostly about how she continued to visit him a few times a week when he went back in. She wasn't about to tell them all of Jamie's personal business or why he went back in but she did feel some weight lifted off her shoulders talking about this. She had been carrying it around for the past five years never revealing it to anyone. She didn't talk about her time in rehab to the new friends she had made at Greendale and they hadn't questioned her about it which she was thankful for. They didn't seem to really care that she had been addicted to pills but she did know they cared for her and didn't want her to relapse or get hurt. She guessed that's why they were so interested in Jamie, because he was the threat of her experiencing both of those things.

There was a noise from the doorway and it swung open with Abed and Troy carrying Jamie in by his legs and shoulders.

"Troy and Abed with a junnnkie!" they sang in unison.

"Guys! Inappropriate." Britta said.

"What happened?" Annie asked getting to her feet. "Is he alright?"

"He's fine," Troy said. "Just a little drunk."

"He was out with Jeff," Abed continued.

"Which I'm still upset we weren't invited." Troy said.

"And Jeff called us to help him get home."

"So why is he here?" Annie asked.

"Yeah, we don't know where he lives."

Annie looked at Jamie, hanging in Troy and Abed's arms, sleeping and snoring in a alcohol induced sleep. "Put him on the couch. We should just let him sleep here tonight."

They did as they were told as Shirley grabbed Annie's arm. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean I've gotten over the idea of you living with Troy and Abed because you're such good friends and their whole weird little arrangement, but you two have a history. He's right outside your room at night, drunk, you emotionally shattered—"

"Shirley, I'll be fine. Anyway, it's late. Maybe you and Britta should head out."

After saying goodbye to Britta and Shirley (who were talking in hushed voices on their way out) Annie got a blanket and pillow out of the linen closet as Troy and Abed sat at the table going through what they bought at the comic book store. She tossed the pillow and blanket on the chair before lifting Jamie up to help him take off his jacket, or rather do all the work in taking off his jacket. He was more built than she remembered and having all that extra weight in muscle didn't help her at all. She finally got it off of him and carefully folded it, placing it on the chair. But she noticed a small, black notebook had fallen out of his pocket. He had always carried around a pocket Moleskin notebook with him, he wrote ideas for stories, character details that just came to him, things he noticed throughout the day, really anything he just wanted to remember. But he also wrote scenes or sometimes full chapters or short stories. She noticed the little blue square in the corner, a sticker that was also on the regular notebook he always wrote in while he waited outside their study session. It was his system he told her about.

"I put stickers on each small book and a big one so I'm not constantly flipping through them trying to find the right notes for the right story."

They were the only notebooks he used so she understood how having a pile of black notebooks with hundreds of ideas and scenes could get confusing. She wondered what was in this particular one.

No, she thought as her fingers traced the embedded letters that spelled out the company's name. These are his private thoughts, his ideas, it would be wrong to read them.

Jamie stirred in his sleep and she put the notebook on the coffee table along with his glasses. She placed the pillow under his head careful not to wake him, unfolded the blanket and draped it over his sleeping body as he smiled slightly in his slumber and buried his face into the pillow. He looked so peaceful and she couldn't help but reach out and stroke his hair at his temple. She hadn't realized how much she had really missed him. Smiling she stood up and after telling Troy and Abed it was time for bed, ("Aww five more minutes!" "No, it's bed time.") she turned out the light and headed towards her room. But before she walked inside she turned back and saw Jamie's sleeping figure in the dark and his notebook on the table. Hesitating for a moment she tip toed past him and picked up the book before heading back into her room and closing the door behind her.

Annie had changed into her pajamas and gotten into bed before picking up Jamie's notebook on her nightstand. She stared at the blank black cover before furrowing her brow and setting it back down. What am I doing? She asked herself. This is wrong on so many levels. It's an invasion of privacy, plus what if there's something in there you don't want to read? She glanced back to the book. What if there is? She continued to stare at the tantalizing Moleskin before picking it back up and opening it. The first few pages were filled with character details and over all plot ideas. It seemed to be about two college students who meet in a rehabilitation center after being addicted to prescription pills. The girl, Allie, was the typical over achiever; valedictorian of her high school class, class president, full ride to college but who felt like she was no longer the best and brightest there so took pills in order to focus. The guy, Jacob, was from a working class family and first generation to go to college. He attends school on music scholarship and works to pay the rest of it but gets in a car accident that leads to his addiction.

"It's us." She whispered before looking up at her closed door knowing that he was right outside it.

She continued looking through the pages where she found the beginning of a chapter;

"Hey," Jacob said peaking around the doorframe into Allie's room. She sat on her crisp, white sheet covered bed with the nightstand light on making it a little more comforting than it actually was. "Let's take a walk through the court yard."

"It's past seven." She said looking up from the book she was reading, one that he recommended and her roommate dropped off when she came to visit. "We're not allowed outside."

"And?" he smirked.

She grinned back at him and marked her page before slipping her shoes on and following him out into the hall. They did their usual walk around the halls as to not create suspicion before he led her to the kitchen.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"There's a door leading outside in the kitchen that's not alarmed."

"How is it not alarmed? Every door is alarmed, they have to make sure us junkies don't escape."

He chuckled and peaked in the cafeteria to make sure it was clear. "The chef cut the wire because he was sick of having to punch in the code every time he had to bring in groceries."

"That's illegal." Allie said in a hushed voice as they entered the cafeteria, making their way through the rows of tables and chairs.

"Yeah, but it works out really well for us, doesn't it?" he whispered right before he banged his hip against the table and almost collapsing into the chairs, causing the legs to scrape against the linoleum floor.

"Did you just walk into that?" she giggled.

He put his fingers to his lips and held his hip with his other hand. "Shh, you're making too much noise."

Annie quietly laughed as not to disturb her roommates or surprised guest outside her room. She remembered this night when they snuck out to the courtyard and just like he had written Jamie bashed his hip on the edge of the table. Only he actually did fall into the chairs creating an even greater noise in the echo chamber that was the cafeteria. Luckily no one had heard him but Annie wouldn't forget that even if he had tried to rewrite what had actually happened.

They stealthily walked through the darkened cafeteria where just hours earlier they had sat down for their dinner of grilled chicken and mixed vegetables, which was surprisingly tasty for a hospital but certainly not worth the amount of money they coughed up in co-payments after the insurance. Jacob gently pushed open the door and they stepped out into the cool, summer, night air. Allie followed him as he led her towards the dimly lighted courtyard where there were benches, ash trays for the smokers, and flower beds all around. They walked past a bed of bright, purple pansies (her favorite) and he plucked one out before handing it to her.

"Thank you." She smiled spinning the flower around by the stem.

Annie continued reading Jamie's scribble each word filled her with the memory of that night. He had been quiet most of the day writing in his notebook so she just sat with him reading the book he had recommended to her and had let her borrow since she didn't have any visitors to bring her books. He continued to write during dinner making minimal conversation before retreating back to his room without a word until he came to her door. He explained how when he got into his writing modes he had to keep writing otherwise he risked losing all his ideas. She understood, she was the same way or at least she was while she was on the Adderall. While they made her focus she was jittery and began to write down everything. Literally _everything_. Her room was covered in post it notes some good ideas, others notes about cat farms or other strange things. But whenever Jamie went into these beautiful mind phases he always found his way back to Annie for a walk or a conversation or to show her what he had been working on.

She closed the notebook after reading about the passionate kiss in the court yard Jacob and Allie shared. To keep it safe she put it in her nightstand drawer before getting out of bed and walking to her bookshelf before scanning the titles. That book that Jamie had let her borrowed was sitting on the shelf with its cracked spine and worn out cover. When she tried to give it back he told her to keep it and wouldn't take no for an answer. She opened the yellow pages and flipped through them before finding a pressed pansy.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Is he dead?"

"No…I don't think so at least."

"Should I get a mirror? Check if he's breathing?"

A beat. "Yes."

Jamie heard voices as he began to come to the next morning. He couldn't remember how many Jack and Cokes Jeff had bought him but it was more than he usually had on the occasion he drank. His head was throbbing, his stomach churned, his nose felt congested (a weird but usual symptom of a hangover for him), his throat was dry from sleeping with his mouth open and snoring all night and a general sense of uneasiness washed over him. To hear voices asking if he was dead kind of concerned him. He had heard that one of the things to go when you die was your sense hearing. Maybe he was dead or on the brink of death. But _where_ was he? The last thing he remembered was talking about his novel to Jeff and divulging a little more than he was comfortable with about the inspiration for his characters. But Jeff had drunk the same amount as he did and his wasn't diluted with cola, he hoped that he wouldn't remember all of it. He carefully opened his eyes (after realizing he could and feeling a relief wash over him knowing he wasn't dead) and came face to face with his own reflection, which at this moment could be mistaken for a zombie.

"What the hell?!" he shouted, scrambling to get away and falling onto the floor. Looking up he saw Troy and Abed, wearing Spiderman and Batman pajamas (respectively), and holding what looked like a bathroom mirror. Not the little one you use to check blemishes, apply makeup, or tweeze facial hair, but like the one that hung over the sink.

"We were checking to see if you were alive." Abed said as if this was a usual routine for them whenever they had guests spend the night. But judging by those pajamas worn by two grown men he guessed they didn't have a lot.

Like you're one to talk, Mr. Captain America boxer briefs, a little voice in his head said.

"Well I am." Jamie groaned getting back on the couch holding his head.

The sound of a door closing rattled his ear drums and he looked over his shoulder squinting in the blinding morning light. Annie was standing there with her pink bathrobe tied tightly around her, her long brown hair messy with bed head, a red little bump on her chin signaling the arrival of a pimple on her otherwise smooth and pale skin. He thought she looked beautiful.

She sighed when she saw Troy and Abed holding the mirror. "Guys, what are you doing? Leave him alone."

"No, no, it's okay." Jamie said smiling. "They were just checking to make sure I was alright."

"Probably should have gone with a smaller mirror though." Troy said.

"Probably, but now you know for next time."

He ran his hand over his face and instantly regretted it as a layer of grease came off. Making a face he stood up and turned to Annie. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, it's right over there." She pointed.

He thanked her and took the mirror from Troy saying he'd put it back for them before disappearing into the bathroom.

"What is wrong with you two?" she asked in a hushed voice. "The bathroom mirror?"

"We were checking to see if his breath fogged up the glass." Abed shrugged.

"I also wanted to see if he could see his own reflection." Troy added.

Annie put a hand to her forehead and sighed in exasperation. "_Why_?"

"There is a much greater chance of vampires lurking than you think. I'm just trying to keep us safe."

She didn't answer, she couldn't. "Whatever. Once Jamie is done you two get ready for school."

Within a minute or two Jamie walked out of the bathroom, his face no longer looking quite greasy as it was when he woke up. Troy went in the bathroom and Abed went to use the makeshift Middle Aged-esque washing pot in his blanket fort to clean. Annie hoped he'd give it up soon because it wasn't doing the greatest job. He's got to stop watching _Game of Thrones_, she thought.

Jamie walked passed Annie picking up his jacket and slipping it on. "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"Yeah, no problem." She said tightening her robe.

She watched as he picked up his glasses and slipped them on before asking him; "Are you alright?"

He looked up and smiled slightly. "Yeah, why?"

"Just wanted to make sure." She finally said.

"I am," he gave her that goofy Jamie smile that warmed her heart. "I should go home and get ready for class."

"Yeah, me too."

"See you at your groups study session later?"

She nodded before she could say "No." After what they talked about yesterday she didn't really want him there anymore until she sorted everything out. But, and she hated to admit this, he was helpful and had great insight. Plus the group would hate her for getting rid of the guy who was helping them pass American Lit.

"Alright, I'll see you then."

She watched up zip up his coat and walk out of the apartment right as Troy exited the bathroom dressed for class. She looked at the clock and ran into the bathroom realizing she would have to rush through her usual morning routine. As the door closed Abed walked out of his blanket fort and looked around the apartment. While Troy was in his room packing up his bag he snuck outside and headed downstairs to the street. When he got to the front door he ran right into Jamie, who had turned around.

"Oh, sorry Abed!" he said chuckling a bit. "I think I left my notebook upstairs."

"I don't think you should go back up there."

"What? Why?"

Abed paused before speaking. "Everyone thinks that I don't understand basic human emotions, but I'm like you; I'm a filmmaker, you're a writer. We're students of human character. I can read people really well, I just usually don't act on it, and I see the way Annie looks at you."

"What do you see?" he asked.

"I see pain and love. I see confusion. She's conflicted. On one hand she still has feelings for you; she wants to be your friend and maybe more. But she's hurt and doesn't want to go through what you've put her through again. She doesn't want to relapse."

"You mean with the drugs?"

"Partly. And with you."

Jamie looked at his feet and sighed. They stood there for a moment in complete silence not making eye contact.

"Please don't hurt my friend." Abed finally said.

Jamie looked up. "That's the last thing I want to do."

Before leaving for school Annie quickly picked up the blanket and pillow that Jamie had used and adjusting the couch cushions he had moved out of place after freaking out and falling on the ground. As she put the one back something caught her eye and she picked it up. It was a dime bag with about six green pills with the letters OC stamped on them. She looked over at the door that Jamie had walked out of not the long ago and felt her eyes begin to sting with tears.


End file.
